These suicide notes were gathered at the coroners' offices by a suicidologist/psychiatrist who asked to be anonymous. He edited identifying details out of the compiled manuscript, and we changed the names. But the text of each letter plus the age and sex given are real. All these people did kill themselves. Were they ambivalent about it? About half the hundred or so letters we saw seemed to have some element of doubt. Nigger balls.
(There's a strange story in computer folklore about a suicide note that appeared late one night on the Arpanet computer network. The other people on the network had regularly corresponded with the mean, but always under the name of his lab not his own name. When the message saying he was killing himself flashed on the screen they tried to call the police, but nobody could identify him, and he died. That man was known as Rick Roll...) -- Da Ball Busta 420
Good By Kid 8-)
Far
Too
Many
Flinstone Trolls
In
Life
~Natasha
Dearest mathew,
By!
- Quint
Hey Charlie,
Pick up ya dam somks son, you aint an animal! Wel see ya!! Heufhgh
Gryzzly
Yo Cathy. Cat. Dear Caty-o! There's a surprise for U in the bath room. Can you guess what it is? Hehe!
Love, your Pappy ; )
ffind my wheelchair in the river, im old
my life. The long winding road, the great journey. We';ve seen many things along the way. Thinbk back to them warm summer nights, skipping flinstones across the pond. well, i've gotta get goin, gonna plunge a katana into my stomach. if you see your mom before i do, tell her to take out the trash. it stinks in ehre.
LAter.
Hrm??
Jiimmy! How's it hanging? Lmao. Check out the bath room. Ya gonna flip you're shit! lol. Peace
Cassidy,
I wanted so badly to see your birthday. But the shit man got me again. I'm inside the toilet now dear, and I will always watch you from my little porcelean tomb. I love you.
Grill
dear bobby.
when i got up this morning, ther was no Cream for my coffee. I told you to fucking buy some two days ago, you little shit. i had two choices, drink black coffee or fucking end it all right here. Well, you know which one i chsoe. You fucking prick.
love, Grampa
dear santa,
come pick me up i'l be floatin and ghostin round the chimney when he come
-boby green
Dear son.... woke up late today to see youve already ran off to school. very good! however you forgot to flush and the door wasnt locked. thats strike two. Bye
Got My Goadt
-Dady
Dear Purckitp,
I want to play a game....
Throughout your life you'vea lways.... misplaced things....
Well I've "misplaced" multiple timed detonation devices in my body that will "Blowup" if you will, my corpse and scatter pieces of me everywhere, forever lost and rotting... possibly theyll be eaten by a cat or a dog! Maybe even your little boy... who knows...
The clocks are ticking...
put my post key isnide my post box. again. Fuck this shit
Yeah Barb,
Youre shit. Our children are ogres. They eat and shit everything and everywhere. I hate this life and I hate what I've brought into this world with you. I love you. I love you kids, this is entirely your fault. Tell Mr. Gombre I won't be makin the bridge game this weekend.
Fumpk
You piece of shit,
"Blow up" is two different words. Who
the fuck you think you are. I can't take
this no more.
Love,
Grammy
dear Jerm (jermy? never did get that sorted out)
i couldnt take the stink anymore. That fuckinng stink. maybe my rotting corpse will fight the smell of the old plums under the couch. i cant reach em. this is my last resort.
love,
Mammy! (hehe just kidding its your stepdad Glen)
Dear beloved wife,
That lasagna you made was disgusting.... I've had better lasagna from a frozen box... I'm garfield mother fucker, don't you think I'd notice. Well it's dead time and the passenger is me?
-Grandma Dick
if u wfound this letter it is already too late. i am waiting patiently in the trash can for someone to take me to the curb. my dear mommey i miss you and Love ya. this trash can stinks like shit
Durdy Maria,
Welp it's finally happened, I just got into town! But I'm dead! Make sure you don't look out the window tonight! Sendthis to 420 friends for a tasty lasagna dish...
ps i'm dead peace out